When my hot tears meld into the droplets of water from the shower
And the excruciating tightness in my chest and in the back of my throat
Refuse to go away
And I find myself questioning, hoping
That none of this is real
That this hyperventilating I'm doing
Is just in my dreams
But I know
I'm still awake
And part of me
Just doesn't want to exist anymore.

And it feels stupid
When there are other people who have much worse problems than I
But I just feel like
i'm nothing
I'm all alone.

A tiny part of me
Just wants this suffering to end
Just wants it to stop

No matter what the cost.

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